It’s that time of the year! The Cove needs your support to continue to provide FREE programs for grieving children and teens across Connecticut. I would like to share with you the impact The Cove has made on Monica and her family.
I encourage you to take a minute to read their grief journey with The Cove.
Robert A. Johnson once said, “The place where light and dark begin to touch is where miracles arise.” This quote comes the closest to describe what me and my family’s experience has been with The Cove. Please allow me to explain.
I was lucky. I grew up with a loving family, with parents that would do anything to see my siblings and I happy and well. I was blessed with a big brother and a little sister, Tania. Tania was my very own built-in best friend. We knew all of each other's secrets, hopes, dreams, and supported each other 100% without judgement. To best describe Tania, I would simply say she was just goodness. Tania worked at the same school for 20yrs. She loved the children and the families. I don’t remember exactly when, but at some point, she started to talk to me about a then, 6-year-old kindergartener named Michelle. She developed an incredible relationship with Michelle. My sister soon learned that Michelle had been in foster care since she was 4 years old and that she and her two little sisters had been bounced from home to home for close to two years. My sister learned that the state was looking for yet another placement for them and that it was highly likely that they would be separated, because it would be difficult to find a foster family to take a sibling group of three.
Tania, who was living her best single life, and loved being “the cool aunt”, could not bear that thought and decided to become a foster parent for Michelle, and her two little sisters, Natalie 5yrs old, and Rachelle, 3 yrs. old. From that point on, my sister became the only mother the girls had ever “really” known. Even now, the girls will say, that they didn’t know what family was until they met my sister. When the girls went up for adoption, my sister could not sign the papers fast enough as now the world would recognize what her heart knew the minute she met Michelle, these were her daughters. Tania adopted the three girls in November 2018, after fostering them since 2016.
We started with participating in the family programs located in Meriden, which was facilitated by Barbara Giangreco, and her wonderful group of facilitators. My daughter, my three nieces, my husband, and I would attend this program every other Thursday for a full year. For that time and space, we were like everyone else in the room. We had all lost someone extremely close to us and wanted more than anything for the children in our lives to feel that they were not alone and that they would be OK. We wanted them to have a space where it was OK to feel sad, happy, to remember, and honor the person that they so loved. We wanted for them to understand that grieving was different for everyone, and that their own grief process was OK. We wanted them to understand that although they could no longer see my sister, she was always there and would be there forever. Meeting, sharing stories, and moments with the facilitators, and other families present, the girls really got to witness that is the truth, our loved ones are part of us always. We may physically lose our loved ones, but they are part of us, who we are, and live inside of our hearts always. As a family, we looked forward to our meetings and this would create a safe space for us to continue talking and processing things together. Slowly, the girls seemed to smile more and be able to talk about their mother/aunt more without always being sad. They saved every project that they did at The Cove to honor my sister and created a shrine for my sister that still stands today.
Overall, our experience with The Cove has brought us closer as a family, helped us understand each other more, and helped us heal. I understand that grieving is a lifelong process, but I feel that The Cove has allowed my girls to understand that grieving is normal and healthy. I feel that if or when they have to face death/loss again, their experience at The Cove has provided them the best foundation to process that, and for that I will always be eternally grateful. – Monica and Family
Life was going great, when things quickly changed. My sister unexpectedly became ill in April 2022, and then suddenly passed in May 2022. Words cannot describe everything we lost that day. But for her daughters, it was the second time in their young lives that they lost their parent, with the only difference being that if my sister had been given a choice, she would have never left them, and she had proven that to them over and over again. At their young age, my sister’s daughter had to continue to learn how to grieve the loss of birth parents that were still alive but chose not to be present in their lives, as well as how to grieve the loss of the only person who had stepped up, protected them, loved them, and chose them every day.
I had no time to crumble, like I wanted to. My husband and I had been caring for the girls since my sister became ill and had been regularly involved in their lives prior to that. We immediately knew what we had to do. We petitioned the court and obtained guardianship of my sisters' 3 daughters. It was here that probate court informed us of this amazing program, The Cove. We were informed that they could help children and families dealing with loss and grief. We reached out to them at our darkest moment, and they became our light.
Monica’s courage to share her family story is telling of the impact The Cove programs have on grieving families. It’s not easy to open your heart for all to see. Monica’s family has been able to access The Cove’s FREE programs because of people like you. You are the one who continues to support The Cove’s mission of providing hope and healing to grieving children and teens.
I hope you can continue to provide support for families like Monica’s.
With Gratitude,
Allison Gamber
Executive Director
The Cove Center for Grieving Children